Posted in Behind the Scenes, Characters, Revenge of the Turd

The Chase – Conclusion ROUGH Draft of Revenge of the Turd

Penny waited a few minutes to make sure he’d actually gone, then gave the all clear signal to the kids.
“Thanks for saving our neck again, Penny,” said Piper. “We’d be sunk without you.”
“You know I can’t stand Danny, or his bully dad.”
They all grinned, and left with lighter hearts than when they went in.
They headed left toward their cul-de-sac where they lived on Titchy Drive. About two blocks from their turn off, Danny was in front of them, along with his buddies.
“Thought you were going to get away with it didn’t you,” grinned Danny with a savage look.
“I’ll give you to the count of three,” said Stanley, mustering up all the courage he could find. “And I’m call Rabbi Titchy, and he’ll call your mom.”
Danny’s thugs moved forward. Stanley hit the Rabbi Titchy’s name and set the phone to speaker.
“I didn’t start this!” yelled Danny. It was true. He hadn’t.
“I know you didn’t,” said Piper. “But we told you it was Turd, not us. Since when have I EVER picked a fight with you?”
Danny stood glaring at her. It was another truth. She never had. In fact, Piper and Pickles never picked fights with anyone. They did their own thing, which was actually pretty cool! Deep inside, Danny liked the girls.
“You’re telling me that a ghost did this to me?” he said in a much calmer voice. “And I’m supposed to believe that?”
“Danny, you’ve known me for six years. Have I ever lied?” asked Piper.
“Then, trust me with this. I made a huge mistake over the summer. I accidentally burned down my grandparents house…”
Danny and his thugs were so impressed that they tried to give her a high-five.
“I said it was an accident.”
“It’s still impressive,” laughed Danny.
Piper rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Turd, short for Theodore Ulysses Reginald Davenport, is a poltergeist who had lived there over 150 years, was devastated watching his home burn down. So, we invited him to move in with us, and he’s been getting revenge ever since.”
“Well, not really revenge,” chimed in Pickles. “He’s a poltergeist. He just does stuff.”
“REVENGE!” yelled Piper. “He goes after me more than anyone! Do you know what he did to me this morning? He turned off the hot water while I was in the shower!!!”
“Wait,” said Pickles in surprise. “He was in the shower?”
“That’s going way too far,” said Stanley defiantly. “Joe needs to talk to him about boys and girls.”
“He said his eyes were closed. I DON’T CARE!” she yelled picking up a rock and throwing it at the street sign.
“You’re mom needs to ban him from the house,” said Danny. “That’s just wrong.”
“Tell me about,” grumbled Piper. “I try to do my homework, he keeps hitting extra letters. Or, he deletes my homework. I’m sick of it. I know he’s my godfather, but enough is enough.”
“Godfather? You’ve got a ghost for godfather?” cried Danny rather impressed at the thought.
“Yup. He’s both our godfathers,” said Pickles.
“And my friend!” said Stanley waving his arms like an idiot.
Just then, Rabbi Titchy showed up. “False alarm,” said Stanley.
“Are you sure?” asked the rabbi.
“Yeah, we came to an understanding,” said Piper.
They took turns explaining to Titchy everything that had happened. “I’ve always liked that ghost. Tell you what, let me drive you kids home and I’ll have a talk with Joe.”
Pickles, Piper, and Stanley opened the door and stopped. The sound of air leaking from a tire was coming from the left. Sure enough, Turd was letting the air out of the rabbi’s tire and it was nearly flat.


My name is Yochana, or Yo, for short. Growing up on a farm in southeastern Ohio was pretty lonely, so books and art became my best friends. I wrote my first piece of "fan fiction" in fourth grade. It was based on the movie, "The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman," starring the late Cicely Tyson. That same school year, I wrote a poem that my teacher sent off to a publisher friend. He told her to give me a few years. A little over 20 years later, my poems were published. That to me was a few years. Since then, I've been a reporter who horrified the editors with my grammar skills, wrote for campus publications, written humorous company training manuals, and have written three books. These days, I'm back on the farm taking care of my mom, and living in a '95 Jayco Eagle Mini-motorhome with my cat, Lillie, and three grandkittens. (Thanks, Lillie.)

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